"Guys?" JC said softly. "You all ready for bed now?"

"Let's put him down there; it's the quietest room."

"Also the furthest," Joey observed, as he attempted to walk with Lance draped over him. "Hey there, cowboy, watch the goods! I'm the straight one, remember?" Lance had evidently reached his horny stage.

::sniff::

Really good.

Want.

Naked kissing.

"But Lance is hurting." In his current state, Joey was far more concerned about his best friend's happiness than about group harmony. "He's not going to wait forever you know. What would it do to the group if after they came this close to getting together for real, Lance gave up and found someone else? The Bass is not designed to be single; we've all seen it."

"Man, I know what you mean," JC agreed. "Some of the people he's ended up with to avoid being single… Freddy, for instance…" JC shuddered.

"Do not speak that name in my presence, dude," Joey replied. "Im'a talk to Chris tonight. If we go into the studio like this, something's gonna blow up."

"Maybe you should let me do it. You'll just kick his ass and that won't help anything."

"I'm not gonna kick his ass. If anyone understands fear of intimacy, it's me. Ten years to get my head out of my ass… I just want to speed up the process for Chris."

Except that's really really pathetic.

Damn.

Hi, Chris. You wanna do it?

Unfortunately, Justin had promised Lance years ago (on pain of really painful things the details of which he was very relieved to have blocked from conscious memory) never to so much as hint to Chris that Lance had real feelings for him. So instead of saying what he really thought, if he could even manage to explain something so complex in his current state, he said, "He's not that great at hiding when he's happy, man. Not with us."

JC agreed. "We all know how he gets."

Except then there'd be the morning and Lance would be mad at me and… fuck.

Time to jerk off.

JC's high-pitched giggle lasted all the way back to the master bedroom.

When they got back into JC's room, Justin was cleaning up the party debris.

"Can't you leave it till morning, Anal Boy?" Joey asked.

Justin ignored him, still trying to figure out what was going on. Lance seemed even more upset than Chris. Certainly not like someone hiding a happy new love affair. Of course, as far as he knew, he'd never seen Lance in a happy relationship, but he doubted that it would manifest in bloodshot eyes and deep sighs. Not even Lance could be that contrary.

Dropping the last of the empty paper cups into the trash — JC, though thrifty, did not like doing dishes with a hangover — Justin turned to Joey.

"Hey Joe, what's up with Lance? Is he alright?"

Joey scowled. "What, doesn't Chris talk to you anymore?"

"Chris is being a freak. He makes no sense. He says he never dated Lance, but then he says Lance dumped him, and —

"No way!" Joey cut him off. "Where does he get off saying that? I'm gonna slap the little gnome."

JC put an arm around Joey and Justin relaxed a bit. Physical contact usually calmed Joe down, especially if it were Lance or JC. "No taking sides here, man. Sit down, both of you."

Justin sat immediately, right on the floor. Years of conditioning meant he couldn't disobey JC when he spoke in that tone.

Joey hesitated, but then sat on the edge of the bed.

JC sat on the chaise where he could face them both. "Ok, Joe first. Tell us what Lance told you about this breakup or whatever."

"Lance finally got up the nerve to tell Chris we wanted a real relationship. He set up this whole romantic thing in a hotel, flowers and candles and shit. Then when Chris showed up and Lance started talking, the asshole just walked out on him. Said some shit about how it never meant anything real, no hard feelings. Broke Lance's fucking heart. Now he won't talk to Lance at all, and Lance is just trying to hold it together for the group."

"Arrrgh. Chris is smoking fucking crack or something." Justin could not believe his best friend could be so stupid… Wait a minute. Chris. Of course he could. The one thing he was always stupid about was letting someone care about him. "He said that he's been thinking that maybe they should try for real this time. But when he was ready to say something, Lance started in on one of his speeches. Something about growing up, and no more buddy-fucks, and how he was in love with someone. And you know Chris… He doesn't like to hear bad news. So he took off before Lance could say who he was in love with. I think —

"No." JC stopped him. "Facts first, from both of you; then we can think. Did he say anything else?"

"Not really. Just that he's sure that Lance is all torn up with guilt, and just waiting for Chris to move on before he can introduce us all to the love of his life." Justin kept an eye on Joey as he talked, ready to duck if he went off the handle again.

JC thought for a moment, then grinned and spread his arms. "I know what happened!" he said with delight.

Justin looked him over, checking for signs of insanity. Nope, just stoned.

JC continued. "Ok, so Lance is all saying he loves Chris, but he's saying it like Lance. You know, all careful and metaphors and such… Slippery Lance talk. And Chris, he's all scared and expecting bad stuff all the time. So he hears everything backwards. Thinks Lance is saying he's in love with someone else. Lance is. Not Chris. In love. Not with Chris, except he is, but Chris doesn't think so. And he's Chris, right? Always has to do what's best for the group, never himself. So he says they're still friends. And then Lance, he's always feeling rejected, always. So he thinks Chris doesn't want him. And he's Lance, so once he thinks that, he'll never ever ever ask Chris again." This speech was accompanied by many expansive hand gestures, though Justin thought it might be easier to follow without the visual aids. Or if at least one of them were sober, maybe.

"What the fuck is wrong with that man?" Joey asked. "Is he blind? Lance has been in love with him since Germany."

"I thought it was just a crush back then." JC frowned. "I asked Lance if he was in love, and he said of course not, that it was just friendly messing around stuff."

"Of course he said that. Chris fed him that line every time they hooked up." Joey just sounded tired now. "Even after Dani. When Lance dropped his boyfriend, so he could help Chris get over her, Chris kept saying they were just friends, just fucking."

"He told Larry King they were dating," Justin said. He was trying to reconstruct his memory of that time to take into account this new information, but it kept slipping away. He was too stoned for this.

They lay in silence a while more. Then JC sighed deeply and stretched. "I think we sleep now. You guys want to stay in here, or in guest rooms?"

Justin looked at the bed and saw that Joey was already sprawled out. "I've got a car coming to take me to the airport." He looked at his watch. "In about three hours. Fuck. I probably should go to a guest room so I can set the alarm and not wake you up, man."

"Ok then. Lance is at the end of the hall, and Chris is in the room you usually take. So, maybe, the one with the yellow? ‘Cause I know you don't want the pink one."

Justin sighed. "You and your freaky-ass color-coded guest rooms. I'll call you when I land in wherever the hell I'm going."

"No, at least wake me up to say goodbye when you leave."

Justin smiled fondly. JC hated it when people left while he was sleeping. Said it made it seem like they were sneaking away. Luckily he slept lightly, and really didn't mind being wakened. "’Kay then. You two gonna talk to the freak and his boy tomorrow?"

"I dunno. We'll see what they're like. Might be better to hit them when they've recovered." JC was curled around Joey by now, yawning as he spoke. Justin leaned over and kissed each of them on the cheek before heading out to find the yellow room.

Joey regained consciousness rather unwillingly. It had been a while since he'd stayed up all night drinking and smoking out, and his body didn't thank him for it. He sat up, dislodging the body that was wound around his, and looked around for a clock. Instead, he found fish. Everywhere he looked. He groaned.

JC sat up, rubbing his eyes, and Joey smiled weakly at him.

"You look green, dude," JC commented with a yawn. "Too old for partying, huh?"

"Just out of practice. Being a responsible adult does that to a man." Joey hauled his ass out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

"Come on down to the kitchen when you're done, man. Coffee and donuts," JC called through the door.

"You need to replace fluids after a night like that. So there's orange juice, with pulp for Lance and without for me." JC pointed to the pitchers as he spoke. "And cranberry, because it's got lots of antioxidants. And wheat grass, and grapefruit, and apple juice, and that tropical mixed stuff you like."

Lance just shook his head fondly and returned to his breakfast.

"Chocolate and grapefruit, JC?"

"Two great tastes that taste great together." JC giggled before starting in on the grapefruit.

Except Chris doesn't like me and won't eat me either.

Shut up! Stop thinking about him!

Like that's gonna work.

Or he could be on the bottom. Mmm, Lance.

What? I never did anything! Ever ever ever! What right does he have to say stuff like that?

Do what?